Friday, May 9, 2008

Memo To Self: Do Obituary

Just a random photo of a random bee on our late-blooming daffodils by the barn:


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There was a funeral at our church today-----for an elderly woman-----which I attended and then stayed afterwards to help with the lunch. Like I've said before, I don't mind doing that, but it basically shoots a day. I help with many, if not most of the funeral lunches at our church, because I don't work outside the home like many other women of the congregation, meaning I'm available during the daytime. Hooray. Usually, I'm the youngest server there, even now at my youthful age of 49!
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Our church congregation is divided into three groups for doing funerals. My group was not in charge, but we had to provide the desserts this time. For some reason, I'm of the opinion that funeral lunches need rich chocolate items for dessert, so I baked Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake Marbled Brownies. The pan was still warm when I got to church. I was too late to view the casket in the narthex, and somehow managed to get yanked into the Ladies Aid Group which was just walking into the sanctuary to sit en masse in order to sing a special music number later in the service. Fine, no problem, even though I officially dropped out of Ladies Aid a couple years ago........because I just couldn't stand meetings anymore.
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The funeral service was nice and meaningful, though the pastor was long-winded. Our Ladies Aid hymn sounded weak, I thought, but people said afterwards that it sounded fine. What else would they say, really?
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At one point during the service, the pastor read the obituary, of course, which included these words which seem to be a part of all our church womens' obituaries: "She enjoyed cooking and quilting. She made quilts for each of her children and grandchildren."
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As could be said of any of us, I could keel over dead at any moment.......I don't expect to for awhile, and I hope its a long way off, but who knows. Thus, maybe I should think about drafting an obituary for myself. What would I want it to say? Hmm. Let me think.......maybe, "She enjoyed reading, walking, blogging, rockhunting, taking photos. She gave each of her children rocks, books, and photos; and she prayed for them on her walks." But, it just doesn't sound as motherly and homey as, "She enjoyed cooking and quilting."......does it?
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Actually, I think maybe I exist on the demarcation line between those women of whom it can be said, "She enjoyed cooking and quilting.", and those women, younger in years, of whom it probably CANNOT be said, "She enjoyed cooking and quilting." Hmm. What do you think? What will your obituary state that you enjoyed??? Cooking and quilting??? If so, I salute you!






6 comments:

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Hey, did you know that we're the same youthful age?

About my obituary . . . I suppose it would probably start with my professional stats. Worked in educational publishing for XX years. Blah blah. I don't think that really describes who I am, but there it is.

Wouldn't it be cool if obits said really quirky stuff like, "Ruth's favorite afternoons consisted of sitting with her knitting in hand and her dog's head on her lap while she screamed at the television because the Bears punt returner just scored a touchdown--and then she'd take a sip of beer from one of her Paris bistro glasses."

Yeah, I'd like that.

Pat - Arkansas said...

Jeannelle and Ruth,
You won't find "cooking and quilting" in my obituary, which has been written for a number of years. Ruth, I think the words in your comment would make a wonderful obituary paragraph. And, Jeannelle, what will your children remember? Rocks, and books and stuff. Oh, and maybe your scrumptious brownies -- and your photos! It would be wonderful to say in print that you prayed for your children on your walks. Go for it!
This reminds me; I need to update my own "last words" to include that I loved to surf the internet!

Anonymous said...

Would this be too blunt for mine? "She was pretty nice, but she surely couldn't get her house clean, she hated to cook, and she was a disaster as a girl scout leader. And even though her kids weren't always super clean and her cooking sent her husband's cholesterol through the roof, they were always a very happy family."

Jeannelle said...

Oh, its been fun to read your comments, everyone!!

Ruth,

I think it would be fine to include "quirky" info in one's obit. So maybe that's a good reason to write down ahead of time what we want in the obit, and if its quirky stuff....who cares.

Ah, yes, 49......it used to sound so old. Not anymore.

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Pat,

Thanks for the encouraging words, and it sounds like you have your "last words" jotted down somewhere, and can update them as needed. Good idea. And, yes, isn't it fun to surf the 'Net! It makes the whole wide world seem closer and more intimate.

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caution,

Blunt can be OK! I love your "final words", and honestly, they would fit me, too! On the wall in my kitchen are my words to live by: "A clean house is the sign of a dull woman!"


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I can see now that the best reason to record one's own final words is so the truth will be known. If I died without writing down my own final words, my family might say something inane like, "She enjoyed cooking" in my obit. I've never actually told anyone that I don't enjoy cooking, so they may think that I do, simply because I did lots of cooking over the years.

Who knows, really, whether the deceased lady from today's funeral truly "enjoyed cooking"......maybe that's just wishful thinking on her kids' part. (Oh, surely Mom loved cooking for us!)

rhymeswithplague said...

I haven't thought about my obituary...I need to do that. Have you ever read W. H. Auden's poem "The Unknown Citizen"? It reveals a lot about a society that really doesn't care about individuals and relates to them through reams of meaningless data.

I'm fascinated by your statement that you "don't work outside the home." Especially after showing us pictures of you plowing the fields for your Hubby on huge tractor thingies. If that's not "outside the home" I don't know what is. I know you meant "off the home place" but I just had to rattle your cage....

Jeannelle said...

Hi rhymeswithplague!

No, I've not heard of that poem. Sounds interesting! "reams of meaningless data"......there's enough of that around.....this blog being part of it, probably!!

Truly, I don't even consider tractor driving as work.....it is more a fun thing. (And our tractor is not very "huge" compared to others in the fields around us.) We're just small potatoes here.

I've had people ask me "What do you do?", though, many times, as probably all of us do get asked that. Someone asked me that today, in fact, while I was at my son's track meet, and I answered "Nothing.....not a thing."