Mum's Day Mum

My eldest child gave her mom this mum for Mum's Day! Wasn't that sweet of her! She said the clerk who waited on her at the flower shop even had a British accent!

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If we are mothers, the memories of our childrens' births naturally occupy a special place in our minds, and within that place, the memory of our first child's birth will stand out simply because it was the first one.

Husband and I had been married around two years when we found out we were expecting. It was a bit of a surprise.......I had just finished LPN training and had started a job at a hospital. Here's the first inkling I had that something was going on......the smell of meat frying started to make me feel queasy.

I remember going to the doctor's office for a pregnancy test, feeling quite sure that it couldn't possibly be true. After work that day, I called the doctor for the results........I was standing at a pay phone at Eagles Grocery Store when I found out I was pregnant. This will sound terrible, but my heart just sank for a moment........I thought, "Oh, I'm not ready for such a thing! I don't want to be a mother yet." As the pregnancy progressed, my attitude did an about-face, however! I told someone later, "Its a good thing we have nine months to prepare ourselves for what's coming."

One other thing I distinctly remember from that fall of 1980, after I found out I was pregnant.........one day I went hickory-nut-gathering with Husband's mother, his grandma, and his aunt. It was a lovely, warm autumn day and we were in the woods, rustling through the dry underbrush, searching for fallen hickory nuts. For some reason, the thought of carrying a new life inside made me simply feel at one with the hum of nature surrounding me that day.......like we were vibrating at a similar frequency. Sounds corny, I know, but the feeling was very strong, and it made me almost giddy.

The months flew by, and one morning in late May of 1981 I suddenly awoke to a sopping wet bed.........the breaking of the waters! ALL four of my labors began that way......with the water breaking in the middle of the night or early morning while I was still in bed.

That first time, we phoned the hospital and told them about the water breaking, and they said to come right in even though contractions had not started yet. By late morning, they still were not coming very strong, so the doctor suggested induction to speed the labor up. Yeah.....that did it......before I knew it, contractions were coming hard and fast, all but overwhelming our Lamaze efforts. Finally, I was wheeled into a delivery room.......oh, my.......memories of pushing, and feeling everytime like I was doing it all wrong. Forceps finally were used......fun, fun. And then, our daughter arrived, after which I felt empty, sore and exhausted, but, also, satisfied and happy.

The empty feeling did stay around for awhile, and several times I burst into tears at the sight of my flattened stomach. Weird, huh? Did any of you mothers ever feel that way?

At that time, 1981, new mothers stayed in the hospital for four days. Personally, I didn't enjoy that time at all.........it was nearly impossible to get any sleep, and if I did happen to doze off, before long I was awakened by a nurse bustling into the room carrying my squalling daughter in need of a feeding.

Let's see......I was 22 years old.......and knew precious little about taking care of a baby! Sometimes, I think its a miracle my daughter survived that initial round of my mothering attempts.

Somehow, for whatever reason------probably simply because I'm a believer in doing things the way nature intended (when feasible)-------I was determined to breast-feed, and it definitely took determination and commitment, because it wasn't always a pleasant experience, especially in the early weeks, but I felt deeply that it was the best thing for the baby. One memory I have from that summer of 1981 is of being awake to watch the live broadcast of Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding.......it was at around 3:30 a.m. one morning, and I was up nursing my daughter.

So, anyway.......long story short.......that baby daughter is now all grown up and married. Part of my problem in life is being too sentimental, and in a tiny part of my mind I grieve that my babies grew out of themselves and are now almost all adults. That's how its supposed to be, I know, but its alot of change to adjust to over the years. And all mothers go through it, so I'm not trying to single myself out for sympathy.

I also still have my own mother, a blessing from God, of course. I love her and am thankful for her role in my life but, as a daughter to my mother, I am a failure in many respects. I'm way too sensitive to what she says and does, her facial expressions, etc., meaning I read far too much into them, leading my thinking to be affected adversely. Actually, I'm that way with many people, which is why spending time alone is crucial for me in order to maintain a balanced state of mind. But, today, on Mothers' Day, I will be with my mother for awhile, and we will have a wonderful time.......I've made my mind up on that already.

Whether you happen to be a mother or not a mother, God's blessings to you on this Mother's Day!! Here's my blogpost from last year concerning Mothers' Day; it includes info about the origin of the holiday we know as Mothers' Day, which has morphed into something other than originally intended.