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My hours of solitary driving over the weekend gave me plenty of time to think, and often the thoughts turned in the direction of the upcoming presidential election. Callie of Chezbichet blog has a post concerning prayer and the upcoming election. Though its not my desire to endorse any certain candidate in my blog writing, I do agree that prayer for the election is needful!
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Not that its here nor there, or that anyone should care, but I'm going to explain where life has put me in the spectrum of Christianity. Through no fault of my own I was born to parents who attended an American Baptist Church, of the Northern Baptist Convention. In case you aren't familiar with them, they are more on the liberal side than the Southern Baptists, Regular Baptists, and certainly, than the various very strict Baptist sects that exist. I think Bill Moyers is an American Baptist.......GASP........that awful, liberal journalist, Bill Moyers.
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There was a rather heavy dose of religious fanaticism buried within our household, though. I'm mostly at a loss to know where exactly it originated. My mom grew up Evangelical United Brethren (E.U.B., which later merged with the Methodists, to become the United Methodists). Her mother, in particular, was not vocal about her beliefs........Grandma went to a Methodist church, but was quiet about her faith, otherwise. My dad had grown up in the Baptist church we attended; his mother seemed fairly quiet about religious matters, too, although she for years taught the older peoples' Sunday School class.
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The dynamics of the household I grew up in were complicated; there was hidden alcoholism going on, thus plenty of pretense and hypocrisy permeating the family atmosphere. I, as a child, had no comprehension that this might be abnormal.......it was simply normal for our household. Kids soak up whatever is dished out to them; they aren't able to discriminate.
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For whatever reason, from time to time, my parents would go to services at other churches, mostly on Sunday evenings. Thus, I've experienced the Assembly of God/Pentecostal/Charismatic-type service. I've observed an overly dramatic pastor claiming to be doing healings before a crowd of people whose arms are raised, with unintelligible gibberish pouring from their mouths. I simply observed......I was a kid stuck with being required to accompany my parents.
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Another church experience we had was attending summer tent meetings of the local Gospel Hall. These people were and are very upstanding, kind people, and definitely not charismatic, but were and are very conservative; back then they didn't have TV's and the women kept their hair long and up in buns, and wore hats to church services. We, of course, didn't wear hats, and sat there feeling idiotic and conspicuous with our uncovered heads. This group also didn't believe in organs or pianos in church, so congregational singing was a cappella. They didn't have pastors, either.......men of the congregation would preach, though at the tent gatherings the speaker was an evangelist guy from somewhere else, usually Canada. The one I particularly recall was from Toronto and had a German name and quite an interesting brogue when he preached.
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In the summer, the Gospel Hall special speakers would travel around the community in pairs, calling on people to discuss the Christian faith. My sisters and I called them "the tent guys". One summer afternoon when I was maybe thirteen or so, I was home alone mowing lawn and the tent guys drove in. I was embarrassed that they were seeing me in shorts, but I shut off the mower and talked to them for a few minutes. They came right out and asked me if I thought my parents were saved! I answered that I was quite sure one was but wasn't sure about the other one! I didn't go into any other details. Can you even imagine people going around asking kids that? Is that a good idea? A few years later, shortly after I had gotten married, I was mowing lawn at the acreage where Husband and I lived........dressed in normal hot-weather lawn-mowing attire, short shorts and a skimpy tank top. It was way out in the country and I was not expecting company, so who cared, anyhow..... right? Well, wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden two of the tent guys drove in. They had seen me out in the yard pushing the mower; otherwise I would have just hid until they left. I tried to position myself behind a weedy fenceline as I spoke with them so they wouldn't see my short-shorts-clad legs. They knew me as this supposedly good Christian girl and here they were witness to the fact that I was dressed very immodestly! They gave me some tracts and invited me to the upcoming tent meetings. I was uncomfortably embarrassed........and, very happy when they left!
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In my junior high and early high school years, I attended a Gospel Hall Bible study with my parents.........mostly because I had a minor crush on one of the boys from that group. (Oh, thank the good Lord he never took an interest in me!) The Bible study was about the book of Revelation and all sorts of End-Times speculations. Yes, my parents were really into that stuff. Well.....let's see......at that time it was thought that perhaps Henry Kissinger might be the Antichrist, because he was a politically influential Jew. Hmm.......bar codes and Master Card might be part of the End Time scenario.......precursors to "the mark of the Beast", when people would be required to have "666" tatooed on our foreheads in order to buy and sell. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse might symbolize races of people......white, black, yellow, red. Babylon, the Great Whore.......well, that might be the Catholic Church or the United States. The ten-headed beast might be the Common Market, a revived Roman Empire with ten member countries. The Antichrist would amazingly recover from some sort of seemingly mortal wound, the healing coming via his sidekick, the False Prophet, AND everyone around the world would see this happen (live TV or internet?). Preceding it all would be the renewal of some abominable sacrifice in Jerusalem......something to do with a red heifer.
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And, then there was the Millenium.......the 1000-year reign of Christ and His people.........those Christians who persevere and prevail, I guess. (For sure, it would be the Christians who don't fall prey to becoming opinionated bloggers.) After that, the devil will be released from his shackles below and wreak havoc amongst the nations again. Armageddon will occur after that, perhaps, or maybe it is before......I can't recall for sure. Gog and Magog will rise up against Israel. The image from the dream in the biblical book of Daniel comes into play somewhere along the way, too. Quite a collection of scenarios can be fit together from biblical prophecy.
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Here are some penciled notes in my old Bible next to Revelation Chapter 6: "We are all gone (Raptured). Tribulation = 7 years. Great Tribulation = 3 1/2 years. " I have an arrow pointing to "white horse" in verse 2 from the penciled words: "The Beast/False Prophet." "Horse = power and speed. White = clean. Antichrist = religious power. Beast = political power. No arrow = conquers with peace. " (We are to be suspicious of anyone promoting peace!)
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Anyhow, the great and wonderful thing was, of course, that all of us Christians would have been "Raptured" by the time the terrible Tribulation stuff started to happen. And, the Rapture was expected to happen any day. Remember, I'm like 14 to 16-years-old during this time. I figured I'd never live to experience sex......yes, that's right.......sex.......let me say it again.......SEX.......marriage and children, too. Forget about considering college, how pointless that would be when the world is about to end! Plus, my parents told us that college was where people went to become atheists.......or, worse yet......HIPPIES!
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If you didn't grow up with this mindset permeating your household, I'm ecstatically happy for you. I've read that the Palin family possibly espouses these beliefs. If so, I might have some understanding of the deeper reason why Bristol decided to have premarital sex despite her Christian upbringing. It was a temptation for me, too, back then, just so I could experience it before the Rapture......though I was too fearful to do such a thing. I don't know what my dad would have done if any of his daughters had ended up pregnant out-of-wedlock. I shudder to contemplate such a scenario. To my dad, a girl who had premarital sex was "ruined". (That "ruined" description didn't apply to the boy, of course.)
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I also had fears that the Rapture would occur and I would, for some reason (probably because I wanted to have sex), be left behind to experience the Tribulation. If that happened, if I clung to Christian beliefs, I would end up being martyred, of course, perhaps being one of the 144,ooo from the Tribulation period. I used to panic when I suddenly couldn't find any of my family out on our farm.......I thought they had been Raptured! I would quickly look across the road to the neighbor's place to see if I could spot any of their family out in the yard.......they were Gospel Hall people and they for sure would be Raptured. If I could see any of them then I breathed easier, knowing the Rapture had not taken place, and I had not been Left Behind! We did see a movie at our Baptist church about such a thing once; it ended up with the Christians all lined up in white robes waiting to be executed! I went home terrified. I mentioned this to my mom just the other day........she said, "Oh, honey, I don't remember that." Well......she was probably at home with my younger siblings that Sunday evening. I do recall that my dad was in attendance when the film was shown.
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After I married Husband-----one month after my 20th birthday-----I joined his Missouri Synod Lutheran church. One of the first things I noticed was that this church NEVER, ever spoke of the End-Times, the Rapture, the Tribulation, etc. At first I wondered what on earth was the matter with them.......why were they ignoring these crucial issues? As time went on, I realized that faith is about living in the now, living out your faith day by day.......NOT obsessing over obscure scriptures and futuristic speculations. I could see what a huge effect those End-Times beliefs had had on my life. When I started having kids, I vowed to myself to NEVER speak to them of the End-Times or of biblical prophecy. They grew up going to Lutheran parochial grade school, giving them a firm Christian foundation without fanatical leanings.
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By the way, it has taken serious depression, and a nervous breakdown with time spent in a psychiatric unit to get this questionable religious baggage completely out of my system. I don't wish that on anyone, so be careful how you teach your kids, folks!!! I think in order to expell an entrenched glob of beliefs and associated parental bonds, your ego has to dissolve for a time........I'm fortunate that during my ego-meltdown I didn't do anything more bizarre than what I did. It did land me in the psych unit, but at least I didn't hurt anyone else or commit suicide. The Gospel Hall guy I had a crush on.......remember him.......well, he had a nervous breakdown, too, several years ago, and spent time in a psychiatric unit. Hmm.......I wonder why. Reality finally comes crashing in, people! Jesus hasn't returned in the eastern sky during these past 30 to 40 years.......perhaps He won't return during your lifetime! Perhaps, we were misled just a little bit. You can't be preoccupied with the Second Coming of Christ and live a normal, sane life, in my opinion. Any of you are free to agree or disagree with me or go away and never return to this blog if you wish........whatever works for you.
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There is a somewhat related issue which I'd also like to mention........homeschooling. I don't begrudge anyone the freedom to choose to homeschool, and I know that in some cases it is done because people live too far from towns. My brother and his wife homeschool because they believe the public schools would corrupt their children. In the past, I have suggested to him that he and his family could be a wonderful Christian influence in the local school (which, by the way, is a fine, small-town school), but he is deaf to talk like that.
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Husband has a relative who is similarly raising his children, only in an even stricter environment. The wife and daughters wear long skirts ALL the time. They homeschool, of course. They watch no TV except for old Western movies. Gunfights don't seem to bother the dad, but whenever a part comes in the movie where there might be a dance scene, the dad stops the tape and fast- forwards it so the kids won't see any dancing. Like I said......the gunfights are permissible to view, however. In the past, this relative would write letters to his grandpa, Husband's dad, a life-long LCMS Lutheran, telling him that he needed to accept Christ and be saved. My father-in-law would shake his head in perplexity and voice concern for his grandson. My father-in-law was baptized as a baby, confirmed as a teenager, and attended his Lutheran church faithfully ALL of his life........but, according to his fanatical Baptist daughter-in-law and grandson, was not saved. Before I married Husband, her mother worriedly warned me that Lutherans are not saved and I should think twice about joining that church!
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14 comments:
You so willingly share your heart and your life. Thank you for your rant. I have a daughter and I seek daily how to best "raise" her while protecting her. That's somewhat of an oxymoron I believe.
My husband was raised in the "Holiness" faith -married at 15 by designation of the church, etc. At 52, he still struggles with emotional and mental issues this "cult" environment left him with. He has learned to consult the Bible first, leaders later. God left us the most valid handbook for life a person could have to reference. We just need to open it.
I pray I never damage my daughter though I am sure many things I have done have left her damaged. Hopefully they have left her wiser as well?????
Very thought provoking Jennelle. I am so sorry you had to experience that in your upbringing and it makes me more appreciative of my own. Although there are things about the Catholic church that I do not agree with and I was raised with a lot of guilt and rigidity, it has really not left me with any long term effects. That said, I am thrilled that you are at a more peaceful place and environment.
I agree with the fact finding and homework on the political candidates. I am so sick to death of the trash talk out there and find myself just wishing to hole up and do my own research without ANY outside influence such as newspapers and commercials. I try to distance myself from all of this because it just gets my blood boiling....the political game that is.
I do like the way your mind works, Jeannelle. This is a hot topic in my mind, too! In fairness to some of the churches, there was a huge last days movement in the 70's which either motivated or was motivated by those movies (Left Behind?). Some churches did (and still do) seem to be almost infatuated with the book of Revelation. Then there are those who believe that book was never meant to be "interpreted" by lay people. I have so much to say about this, but won't fill your comment box entirely!
Your post did make me think of my aunt is a fundamentalist who is certain her 90 year old brother (a LCMS member) won't go to Heaven. My dad, a conservative pastor, asked my uncle who he believed Jesus is. His response? "My savior." And to that, I say amen.
Wow, Jeannelle, all that from seeing a dead tree trunk and some wild grapevines! What an interesting post! Thank you for divulging your background; many of us have walked along parts of the same path, I'd wager.
I think the beginning portion of your post turned out to be a metaphor for the rest of it. Dead tree trunks always criticize wild vines for their wildness, and wild vines constantly consign dead tree trunks to outer darkness.
Me, I hope to be more like a tree planted by the waters, who brings forth fruit in season, whose leaves shall not wither, and whatever I do shall prosper (Psalm 1).
A very good post, Jeannelle, and very thought-provoking.
saddlegait,
Thank you for your interesting comment! Oh, my.....it sounds like your husband has been through an ordeal. Its good he got out and found you. (I'm assuming you're not the one he married when he was 15....forgive me if I'm wrong about that.)
Oh, I think so often, too, that if we would simply go to the Bible and read and trust, we'd be better off. And, stay away from the perplexing prophecy sections. What good do they do us in our daily lives?
It sounds like you're a conscientious parent, with good intent. I'm not trying to say anyone should be worrying and obsessing about raising children. Use good sense, really, is the best policy. None of us are perfect parents. And, yes, the experiences we're given in life do provide us with wisdom and perspective.
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egghead,
Thank you for your kind comment. I hope no one thinks I wrote this post to get sympathy. No.....it was just to help open other peoples' eyes perhaps. I'm thankful for the experiences I had.....they have helped me see what I need to see.
I agree that politicians are into game-playing, and I lament the difficulties in finding out the truth about candidates and issues.
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Caution,
Thank you for commenting! I think the Left Behind books and movies came along as a result of peoples' interest in prophecy. If I recall correctly, those movies weren't around until after I was out of high school. I never saw any of them, or read any of the books.
Anymore, I honestly believe we shouldn't attempt to interpret Revelation. I've read that some of the Church Fathers way back when didn't think Revelation should be included in the biblical canon. Just think if it were not there....much fear and anxiety would have been avoided.
Oh, and so interesting about your aunt and her brother......must be a very typical thing. Yes, I still recall the day that Baptist lady invited me over to her house to tell me that Lutherans were not saved and I shouldn't join their church. She was dead serious.
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rhymsie,
Wow.....actually, I tacked on the tree trunk and grapevine photos AFTER I wrote the post.....because the post needed some lightening up! Amazing that you can see a connection there!
As I said earlier in my comment.....I'm now thankful for all the experiences I've been given....even the nervous breakdown. I really learned so much through that experience. And, I truly, truly believe its not good to get caught up in an End Times mindset. Most people aren't, but there are those who are, and they need to have their eyes opened a bit, I think.
God is in charge. He will do what He wants, when He wants. He doesn't need us getting involved in His agenda......except for being loving and helpful to others.
The movie was "A Thief in the Night" in 1972. Loved it and hated it!
Caution,
I recall hearing the name of that movie, but am quite sure I never saw it. The movie we saw at our church that time was an Iowa production, filmed down by Red Rock Lake.
The Rapture/End Times/Tribulation theme has been quite a money-maker for certain authors. They would have had to flesh out the stories with much fiction from their own heads......risky and irresponsible, in a way, because they were using a supposedly biblical theme, and people could be seriously led astray.
Years ago I would listen to the Southwest Radio Church which was heavy into prophecy speculations from Daniel and Revelation. I still have many of their study books.
When Baptist Jimmy Carter was president and presided over the peace talks between Israel and Egypt, some people were really excited, thinking this event fulfilled a prophecy and heralded other End Time events soon to come.
Is the collapse of the American banking and mortgage system an End Time event? Just asking....
Also, as someone who for many years was vociferously anti-pentecostal/charismatic and then experienced a change of heart and mind on the subject, I hasten to point out to you that just because you do not understand something doesn't make it "unintelligible gibberish."
Now if Adolf Hitler had spoken in the most beautiful Old High German, what he said would still qualify as unintelligible gibberish. Lest you misunderstand, I'm not disparaging the language in which he spoke, only the content of what he said.
I guess I wouldn't be a good Lutheran. But we can still be blogging friends, can't we?
rhymsie,
First and foremost....YES.....we can still be blogging friends.
You offer a good point to think on.....concerning the "unintelligible gibberish". In reality, since English is the only language I know, anything else to me will be unintelligible gibberish, even Hitler speaking High German, because I wouldn't be able to understand that either.
I'd like to do a deeper inquiry into the phenomenon of speaking in tongues.......I think I read once that it occurred in "pagan" religions before Christianity ever came along. I think its probably simply a human phenomenon related to emotions. It kicks in for some people under certain highly-charged circumstances. Which is fine.
As for the "financial crisis"----if there really is one----well, yes, back in the 70's, amongst the prophecy buffs I was hanging out with, it would surely have been a sign of the End Times. A terrible financial crisis to trigger the need for the dreaded "one world government" that the prophecy people were always talking about. A "cashless society" would be coming, and that requirement for the "mark of the beast" to be tatooed on us somehow. But, be sure you don't agree to get that tatoo.....but, then, of course, you won't be able to buy and sell and will starve, I imagine. You can bring your family to my farm and we'll survive for as long as we can. Oh, but wait......you'll be Raptured by then, anyway. Take care......send me an email or something when you get there.
Hm-m......let's see......the Mayan calendar does indicate that the world will end in 2012. That's 3 1/2 or so years away right......3 1/2 years is a time period I used to hear referred to by prophecy experts. So perhaps the Tribulation is soon to start......it will be half-way over in 2012......then the Great Tribulation will take over. Armageddon is coming......and the Millenium. Now we need to figure out who the Antichrist might be......and the False Prophet.
Please know that I'm smiling all the while I write this. God's in charge......that's all I truly know.
An interesting post and brave of you to share something so personal. There are always those who will jump on anything said relating to religion or politics with a ferocity that seems unreasonable. Two end times comments and I'll make them short. Remember Y2K and the religious fear some people tried to instill? It will happen with this current crisis too, I'm sure. I was in a Bible study with a bunch of fundies and one lady in response to a comment another made about the rapture and that the church would be empty said "not everyone would be gone". You have to laugh sometimes and remember that religions fueled by fear and that involve setting themselves apart in a "holier than thou" way are filling a need for those people, however sad that may be.
Nancy,
Very good comment! Your last sentence is right on, I think. Thank you for your thoughts!
I worry about people getting so caught up the prophecy issues when there's no way of knowing for sure what some of those biblical writings really mean. As I said in the reply to rhymeswithplague's comment.....God is in charge.
The world will not end in 2012.
Even if the seven-year tribulation period was to begin tomorrow, seven years would bring us to the year 2015. From the end of the tribulation period, the world will continue on through the seven last plagues and the Millennium (a thousand years), to finally be destroyed after the battle of Gog and Magog.
Patricia © Bible Prophecy on the Web
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BibleProphecy
Author of the self-study aid, The Book of Revelation Explained © 1982
Hi, Patricia,
Thank you for stopping by and clearing that up!
Jeannelle, I don't know how I missed this post. Sorry I'm late to comment. Thanks for such a vulnerable, open post.
I grew up with all that eschatology stuff too, and it was what first made me question some of my childhood church's teachings. I no longer believe in terrorizing people into faith.
I really appreciated reading your story, and I'm glad you've found a church you're more comfortable with.
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