Fred & Bessie Take A Stroll

This morning Fred and Bessie oohed and aahed---and, mooed and mused---over Laura~Peach’s new grandson, Bradley Joel Hall! The Cows wished they could return to Georgia to see little Bradley in person.

After I explained the complicated logistics of trying to arrange a trip back to Georgia, Fred and Bessie instead decided to take a stroll outdoors. They wanted to see how the flower beds were coming along after the many rain showers we’ve been blessed with recently here in northeast Iowa.

First, Fred and Bessie took a gander at the Hen-and-Chicks, wondering how on earth this plant acquired a name like that.

They gazed at the giant granite ball with awe and some trepidation, agreeing that they would not wish to be standing in this spot during an earthquake.

As they walked past the Spirea bush, Fred thought he saw someone he recognized, but couldn’t be completely sure. He said it almost looked like someone he had met at one of the other homes he and Bessie had stayed at, but his memory failed him as to which one……so he said.

Fred and Bessie ambled on, soon stopping to view a cluster of Hosta shoots making their way into the light of day.

A rather unusual-shaped rock caught their attention next. It seemed to have a ledge made just for Cows to stand on. I urged Fred and Bessie to be very cautious and not overstep the boundaries of their fragility.

After that, Bessie wanted to take a closer look at the violets. She dearly loves violets, she said. Oh, I just looked away and rolled my eyes because violets are really getting on my nerves right now with their brazen invasion of all my flower beds. As Fred and Bessie admired the purple blossoms, they spied that same person….er, cow…..they had noticed earlier near the Spirea bush. Bessie tried to be friendly, hollering “Yoo-hoo…..hello…..how are you? Are you lost in the violet patch?” Fred had become suddenly very quiet.

Oh, my goodness……merciful heavens……what have we here??? An udder-flasher!! Fred and Bessie gasped in shock and stood rooted in place for a few seconds……completely dumbstruck.

Next thing I knew, Fred fell over in a dead faint and Bessie turned away in disgust, trying also to shield Fred’s eyes should he suddenly reawaken and attempt a second look. Honestly, though, I don’t quite understand what the fuss was about. Cows display unclad udders all the time…..even Bessie does that. So what’s the big deal?? Apparently, its all in the stance.

Well, last I knew, the brazen “hussy”---Bessie’s word for her---was sauntering back into the shade of the Spirea thicket. Oh, goodness gracious, I’m hoping we don’t see her parts around these parts again very soon, considering the ruckus she caused.

Do you suppose Fred and Bessie will start spreading the story abroad that our dairy farm is not entirely wholesome? What will Flea think? Oh, dear……something else to worry about. Perhaps its time to think about sending The Cows back to Oklahoma.

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