Christmas Eve Day

Well, its midday of Christmas Eve, and I'm sitting down for a few minutes to take a breather and blog. Otherwise, the day has been taken up with calf chores, walking to the mailbox, shoveling snow, straightening the house, fixing food for tonight. Not to mention, Husband and sons needed a substantial noon meal, so that had to be attended to, also.

At this point, I need to go upstairs and put up a new shower curtain and make sure the bathroom is clean for company coming, our daughter and son-in-law. I cringed the first time he came and stayed here, figuring his mother probably keeps an immaculate house, and that he might change his mind about our daughter after he saw my housekeeping. But, he stayed around, so I guess he's comfortable with us.

I also need to attend to myself and do something with my stupid hair for tonight. It needs a coloring job, so maybe I'll do that this afternoon, too, while I'm working in the bathroom. Actually, I wish I could just stay home from church tonight, and get all the food out and ready. My mother and stepfather will come to our church service and then to our house to open presents and eat. Things are not as much fun as they used to be, when the kids were little, excitedly ripping open packages from "Santa" on Christmas Eve. What fun it was to watch that. And tonight we will also be without Father-in-law/Grandpa/Dad for the first time, and that will be hard.

Because our children are older, and not a part of the Christmas Eve church service anymore, I have sort of lost interest in it. That's terrible, I know, but its just the way it is. It used to be a really big deal, to see them up there in church, rosy-cheeked and singing, taking part in the nativity scene. For a few years, when I was a Sunday School teacher, I was very involved in the Christmas Eve service, too. But, after a time of head problems last year, I gave up SS teaching and other church activities, including Ladies Aid and choir. I wish I could get interested in them again, but it is difficult, knowing that people know about my breakdown, and wondering if they think I'm a complete weirdo. There's no one else in our church who's had mental a mental breakdown, at least that I've been aware of in the last 30 years.

Last evening, I got a phone call from a lady at church telling me that we have a funeral coming up on Thursday, and wondering if I'd be available to help at the lunch. I said yes. The man who died had been in bad health for a long time, and had been living in a nursing home for several years. He was a really nice guy. His wife would spend time with him every day. Father-in-law would visit him, too. So that is another person now who has passed on in the few weeks since Father-in-law's death. Maybe his passing has helped some others to let go and move on, too. Actually, a few nights ago, in a dream, I saw a man from my church, and he was dressed in a vivid sky-blue shirt......the same color as our town's funeral home vehicles. The man is a brother-in-law of the man who died, so the dream was off a bit, as is the habit of dreams.

"Be the peace you wish to see" tonight on Christmas Eve, as you remember and contemplate the meaning of Christmas, the coming of God to earth as a human baby, to provide a way for us to Heaven. Some of the theologians put it this way......that God broke through from eternity into time, to be our Savior, to eventually take us out of time into the eternity of Heaven. Something else to ponder......the difference between the world of eternity and the world of time. Leads one then to think about Einstein and his concepts of space-time.

Anyway....."Be the peace you wish to see".

Happy Christmas Eve, 2007!