Frustrations with Mom & Steers

The above frosty evergreen photo was taken on December 16, a cold, but very clear day. Today, January 14, is the first time we've had a clear, sunny day since then. Murky fog veiled our area several times, causing school delays and activity postponements. Mostly, though, the days have simply been overcast with the usual drab winter clouds overhead.

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For a Monday, today hasn't been too bad. My step-dad is here working on the basement room project, meaning Mom is here, too. She is drinking coffee, which she isn't allowed to do at home, and reading two books she bought at a second-hand shop last week-----The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, and My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. Quite a combination, eh? She paid 25 cents for each.

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This morning as I was preparing to leave to run errands, Mom whispered to me, "Could you please buy me a Mounds candy bar somewhere." Not a problem. But I would go nuts even more than I am if I were in a marriage where I wasn't free to make coffee in my own home or buy a candy bar. That's how it is in her marriage, though, but she knows better than to complain about it to me. Its right there under the surface, though. Two marriages......both to controlling men.

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In her first marriage, from my childhood on, whenever things were bad between her and my dad, she would tell me all about it. For years that went on, until it got to the point where it was giving me stomachaches, and disrupting my home life. I finally told my mom, "I've had it. I will not listen to anymore of this. If you want to stay with a man who is abusive, go right ahead.......but don't come running to me anymore." Shortly after that, she left my father, and proceeded through a very bitter divorce, during which my dad, an alcoholic, placed all the blame on ME!!!!

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Why am I ranting about this? Maybe because Mom is around here today, and all the old memories come flooding back. Its better for me if I don't see her very often. I know the Bible says, "Honor thy father and mother." Its been difficult at times, and I have absolutely no one to discuss it with. Very few people understand such things.

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Let's switch subjects.......this afternoon I had some fun#%!.......helping Husband load steers into the trailer. As always, when we start, I can envision being trampled by the big galoots. With a small scraper as a weapon, I took my position out in the cowyard. Then Husband pointed and said, "You go chase them out of the pen", as if that's my specialty or something. Great. I crept along the fence, ready at any moment to jump up on it to get out of the way if the steers came galloping at me. There were four of them, with big hairy heads staring my way. Fortunately, they seemed rather relaxed, and sauntered slowly out of the pen into the open area of the cowyard. There they kicked up their heels a bit, running around the silo and back, probably wondering what on earth was going on. We had to attempt to quietly coax them, two at a time, into an alleyway that leads into the barn. Our two cattle dogs bit at their tails and hooves to keep them moving. I stood in my spot, doing what you need to do when herding cattle.......make yourself seem large. Spread your arms wide and wave them so you look bigger than you really are. Hollering helps, too. Finally, the task was successfully accomplished. The dogs excitedly ran up to be petted and praised for their hard work. They love it! Wish I felt the same!! I was simply thankful to have survived another session with the steers!

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Why won't the spaces work between the paragraphs? Does anyone know? Am I doing something wrong?