Sh-h-h......we must keep our distance from this rarely-seen sight............a Cow Candidate on her platform, giving a passionate political speech, stumping with gusto to try and scoop up the majority of the POOPular vote in the barnyard (where there is MOOch POOP, in the first place!) Hopefully, the candidate's platform includes the plank of "Cow Power".
***
(I, Freckles the Cow, am searching my walnut-sized brain to try and recall if this Cow Candidate in the photo has an affair lurking in her past. Heh,heh.......that would knock her off her high-hoof!)
(I, Freckles the Cow, am searching my walnut-sized brain to try and recall if this Cow Candidate in the photo has an affair lurking in her past. Heh,heh.......that would knock her off her high-hoof!)
***
Cow politics remain murky and mysterious to outsiders, given the fact that its virtually impossible to ever get close enough to hear what is actually being MOO-ed.....er, said......by the candidates. Even, I, Freckles the Cow, your substitute bloog host this week, remain in the background of the herd MOOst of the time. Otherwise, I get jostled and shoved about by the cow gang members gathered at the speech site.......and at the feed trough. Some cows think they deserve to ALWAYS be first to eat hay and silage........I can't figure it out. What makes them think they're so special?? Do they think they have better spot configurations on their hide, or their cud-chewing is somehow MOOre graceful, or something??!***
***
Oops........I'm afraid we've been "spotted". This cow gang now eyeing you suspiciously is wondering why on earth you're here, eavesdropping on THEIR political convention. Well, you'd better come up with a good answer pretty darn quick, or you could be stampeded right out of this cowyard rally!
******
Me.......that is, I, Freckles the Cow, am smart and experienced enough to know the value of staying at the rear (the POOP deck area) of the herd, watching from behind the other cows. You're on your own now, I'm afraid. I've enjoyed giving you a glimpse into bovine barnyard life, but I'm all done with that.
.JPG)
***
***
***
One MOOre thing, though......you may have noticed that my bloogposts have avoided the mention of certain delicate matters pertaining to dairy cows. Subjects like udders, teats, heats........things of a very personal and private nature. Like human females, we cows endure a life dictated by horMOOnes and reproductive issues. Our human owners watch us for heats, and that can be rather huMOOliating at times.......I mean, shouldn't heats be a private thing, for pity's sake? During our lactations-----which is MOOst of the time----our udders at times get sore and chapped, and once in a great while our teats get stepped on (Holey- MOOley......that hurts!!).
One MOOre thing, though......you may have noticed that my bloogposts have avoided the mention of certain delicate matters pertaining to dairy cows. Subjects like udders, teats, heats........things of a very personal and private nature. Like human females, we cows endure a life dictated by horMOOnes and reproductive issues. Our human owners watch us for heats, and that can be rather huMOOliating at times.......I mean, shouldn't heats be a private thing, for pity's sake? During our lactations-----which is MOOst of the time----our udders at times get sore and chapped, and once in a great while our teats get stepped on (Holey- MOOley......that hurts!!).
*
We cows covet an outer garMOOnt for our udders, similar to a certain undergarMOOnt worn by human women. Perhaps, I, Freckles the Cow, should design such a garMOOnt. On occasion, the wind blows stray newspaper pages into the barnyard, printed with advertisements from a place called "Victoria's Secret", and pictured there is the undergarMOOnt we cows hanker for. Possibly, I could design such a garMOOnt, and sell it from an e-store called "Freckles' Spot". Would this bovine fashion catch on-----or latch on-----do you think?
***
***
***
One MOOre last thing: My humans drink raw milk everyday! They love the taste and believe it to be a healthy beverage!
***
***
***
Now.......finally......YES, truly finally.......a MOO-ey good-bye to you.......until Jeannelle happens to need a bloog substitute again!!
***
***
***
In the meantime.......DRINK MILK and EAT PLENTY OF DAIRY PRODUCTS!!
***
***
***
.jpg)
9 comments:
I will miss you, Freckles the Cow, until your next appearance. I must tell you, however, that two parts of this, your final post for now, brought me up short, gave me pause, made me think, "Wha-a-at?"
Both of them are in you links. In the first link, "Cow power," which is about microbial fuel cells, there are two sentences on the second page that send chills up my spine: "Meanwhile scientists are looking to microbial fuel cells as an energy supply for autonomous robots. These robots could be programmed to find the raw fuel for these cells on their own, becoming completely self-sufficient." Shades of a Stephen King horror story! Especially after the article mentioned human sewage and human urine as sources of MFCs. I can picture a day when autonomous robots, now completely self-sufficient, seek out and destroy living human beings in order to be able to (you should excuse the expression) stockpile MFCs for future use.
The second shock I received from your post was the link extolling the virtues of drinking raw milk. I think Jeannelle should read Flannery O'Connor's short story, "The Enduring Chill" to discover what one real danger of drinking raw milk is. I think it is probably too shocking for a cow's tender ears.
It behooves mes to say I hope we hear from you again, Freckles.
Freckles, Freckles, that undergarment you mention is one of the most uncomfortable contraptions ever invented. Don't do it, honey. It isn't worth the grief.
Healthy cows give healthy milk!
It's been years since raw milk has passed my lips (60 years, actually, but that should prove the safety point) but, I agree, Freckles, it's delicious. Even more delicious is the cream. I learned to use a milk separator when I was a youngster, the first practical application of centrifugal force I ever witnessed. I also learned that fresh cream, when chilled in the refrigerator overnight, is so thick that it can be used by the 'heaping' spoonful. Yum!
I am glad you were available to fill in here while Jeannelle is involved in the wedding frenzy. Your posts have been most enjoyable. Jeannelle should not hesitate to call upon you any time she needs a guest blooger.
I wish you well, Freckles. Long may you chew your cud.
Oh, good morning, Ms. Ruth, and Mr. Rhymeswithegg, and anyone else reading this:
Jeannelle emerged for a few moments from the cloud of wedding distraction and allowed me to use the computer to check the bloog.
Your comments are always most interesting and entertaining.....sometimes I nearly fall off my own hooves in laughter. (Did you know the plural of hoof is correct as either "hoofs" or "hooves"? I did not know that before just now looking in the dictionary.)
As I mentioned, Jeannelle is very distracted, but still kicking after last evening's wedding rehearsal and dinner festivities. Her main duty today is show up at the church on time, looking spiffed. Hah.....what a hoot.
MOOey greetings to you all from me, Freckles the Cow!!
THAT is flippin' funny! This needs to make the rounds during the bombardment of political ads we are starting to endure.
Dear Freckles,
My daughter and I just returned from a local dairy show.....there were many mooo-cows there.....they were beautiful......there was one that looked like you.....I thought of you today and smiled. Stop on over at my blog and you can see some Moooooo-Coooows from NV. ( I will get those photos downloaded and posted tomorrow ) We just love Dairy cows.....=) Ummm.....there were some dariy goats at the show today as well......we like goats too, but cows are the best, best, best....=)
I love fresh butter ... have not had any in years but it is one of the best by products ever LOL of course must have some of grandmas yeast rolls hot from the oven to put that fresh butter on... (am lactose intolerant so no raw milk for me) I grew up with milk straight from bessie... and even on occasion got to job of milking her. :) ahhh the memories... I will so miss you Ms. Freckles you are a wonderful guest blogger please do come back sometime ok?
Hugs Laura
Call me simple, but that cow preaching for the others just made me chuckle! It was already feeling the anxiety and then they spotted the photographer...
How funny! Love the story told by Freckles! Clever!!
Post a Comment