Greetings from the cow domain! We bovines have agreed to fill in on the bloog for a few days while Jeannelle deals with wedding stuff. Heh, heh.......we don't envy her.
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Any-moo........my name is Freckles the Cow.......I should say Dr. Freckles, DM........meaning I have a doctorate in MOO-ology. I will be your bloog host this week.
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I am proudly of the Holstein cattle breed, its official name being Holstein-Friesian, of which you may read some history
in this Wikipedia article. That's correct.......we HAVE a splendid history, dating back to ancient Europe. We also have politics and culture in our Holstein herds, of which, hopefully, you will learn a bit in the next few days.
First of all, let me show you this........we cows can MOOve our ears, to flick flies, or to tune out annoying human voices. The position of my ears in the photo below is not due to a strong wind blowing.
Though I pride myself on being a MOOdest cow, I have decided to reveal my entire self to you. Snickering will not be tolerated; I can't help the markings I was born with any more than you can help yours. I've come to terms with my appearance; in relative peace and contentment I live out my days.
Once in a blue MOOn, though, a brief MOOd of humiliating, really low self-esteem comes over me, and to combat that, my spots and I simply MOOve to the rear of the herd and hide out for awhile. You should try it, actually.......it works rather well. Before you know it, the dark MOOd is gone!
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A few important facts for you to get straight in your heads:
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1.. Female cattle are known as heifers until the beginning of their 2nd pregnancy.......then they become a "Cow". From this information, you should be able to deduce that A COW IS NOT A MALE and MALE CATTLE ARE NOT COWS! NOT EVER! DON'T FORGET THAT!
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2. Male cattle are called BULLS their whole life long, unless at some point they are transformed into a STEER. A steer cannot make a baby calf.......but does makes very good steak.......'nuff said.
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Blu-u-r-r-p........excuse me, please...........loud, bubbly burps are characteristic of us cows. Why, you ask?? BECAUSE WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH FOUR STOMACHS!! Duh! Go here to see a diagram of our stomachs!
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Tomorrow, I will show you a famous landmark sight.........Mt. Rush-MOO-er........not exactly a site, but a sight, for sure!!
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Have a MOO-ey day!
(Any comments this week must be directed to me, Freckles the Cow.....thank you.)
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21 comments:
"Louis la Vache" heartily approves of this post! He welcomes all postive postings in the blogosphere about his relatives!
Dear Freckles,
You have done all humankind a great service today, and I salute you. So many members of my species have never had a clue as to the differences between a heifer, a cow, a bull, and a steer (something every heifer, cow, bull, and steer learn at MOOberty). You may be the first in all bloogdom to let my people MOO with something akin to real, useful knowledge.
As a MOOsician, I also appreciate the fact that All Cows Eat Grass and Every Good Bull Does Fine. You should know that one of my species' favorite MOOsical compositions is Ludvig van Bullthoven's MOOnlight Sonata.
In addition, although I have known for years and years (having grown up in the country) that you and your companions have four stomachs, I would never in a MOOlion years have known that they are the Rumen, the Reticulum, the Obasum, and the Barack Abomasum if you hadn't blooged today. MOOny thanks for sharing this enlightening bit of information.
You are doing Jeannelle proud. As I said, I salute you. I feel privileged to be able to look forward to MOOch MOOre of you blooging.
rhymeswithEGGsortofbutIamnospringchicken
Freckles, you are lovely. Don't let anyone tease you about your markings.
I am a stickler for correct grammar, and the subject of a gerund should be in the possessive case. What I meant to say was I feel privileged to be able to look forward to MOOch MOOre of *your* blooging.
Freckles please stay to the front of the herd you are absolutley beautiful!
I can't wait to learn more about you:)
Dear Freckles,
Ms. Jeannelle made the right mooove when she delegated her blog posting to you. I udderly enjoyed reading the information you shared about your heritage.
You are a beautiful cow. If it weren't so far, I would hoof it up to Iowa just to see you. As it is, I will just look forward to more moovelous photos and your posts.
Freckles - Hello!
When I was a teen, I had a cow that looked very much like you- her name was Cricket. I got her at the age of 3 days and she could barely stand. Somehow my Dad saved her and I raised her to be my horse since he would not let me have a horse. My ultimate revenge for his equine hatred was riding Cricket back and forth through the yard. Her ultimate revenge was giving me lice! We soon learned to remedy that as well.
I am so gald to see you posting. Perhaps there is a saddle blanket somewhere with your name on it!
I mean I am glad! Sorry...should not write in such a hurry.
Good lesson, Jeannelle...and most appropriate name for your cow.
MOO! Hello from me, Freckles!
Jeannelle is frantically trying straighten up the house for weekend company.....ha, that is futile pursuit, in my opinion.
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Louis,
Nice to meet you! I like your photo and may copy it to hang by my barn stanchion....the other cows will be jealous, though. Sometimes we cows sneak into the barn office at night to peruse the bull stud catalogs......sigh.....all those handsome fellows we never get to meet.....sigh.
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rhymeswithEGGsortofbutIamnospringchicken,
What sort of a human are YOU?? My goodness, what clever comment......"let my people MOO".....I like that!
I'm a heavy fan of HAYdn and MOOzart, by the way. And, I worry more about grain than grammar, so chill your milk, already!
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Ruth and Laura and Pat,
You three are so kind to speak thusly. I feel better about MOOself already.
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saddlegait,
Oh, my......a cow named Cricket who you rode as if she were a horse......goodness......I'd give you lice, too, if you tried to do that with me!!
It could be that truly you are "galled" to see me posting......(that typo may have been your unconscious self sending a message through!)
Judy,
Nice to MOOt you......though you are far away in Canada.....I sense that there are cows in your life......
Oh, my goodness, rhymeswithegg......
You need to know this; there's been a major breakthrough in Jeannelle's mind. I showed her your comment in which you signed yourself "rhymeswithegg". After that, she could be seen about the house, carrying laundry, doing dishes, etc. and at the same time constantly muttering: "rhymes with egg"....."rhymes with egg".....
Can you believe what an idiot she's been all these MOOnths since she made your online acquaintance. For her, as a northerner, the word "plague" is spoken with the long "a" sound, hence in her mind your blogging name ended in "plague" (play-gg, rhyming with vague/vay-gg......NOT "EGG"!! She now realizes that evidently in the South, your name is pronounced as rhyming with "egg". You are Bob "Bregg", not Brague, as she imagined it.
Oh, my.....Jeannelle is in a state. Even, I, Freckles the Cow, am astute enough to realize that cows must surely MOO with a different accent in the South and other places. I don't know how Jeannelle could be so short-minded.
Unless, of course.....you pronounce "egg" as "ay-gg"......
How exactly DO you pronounce "egg"?? Now, I'm even geting confused.....
So I take it freckles that you use a voice activated keyboard? I'm impressed by your moootivation to delight us with so much informooootion and other minumooootia. It certainly appears that this week will be mooooost interesting.
Dear Freckles,
Please tell Jeannelle that the first way, rhymeswithplague, is correct, but that very few Southerners come anywhere near to pronouncing his name correctly, so rhymeswithegg is a close, acceptable second, and he responds to either, even though all Northerners know that egg and plague are not homonyms. But he doesn't like to hear rhymeswithflag, which is how most Southerners insist on incorrectly pronouncing it.
Thanks awfully.
Well, I, Freckles the Cow, am finished with my evening milking, and have been given a few moments at the computer.
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Sherry of afeatheradrift,
It almost mooooves me to tears, and warms my big cow heart to see you and others using so much moooooo in your words. Finally, our cow language is getting some deserved attention and usage. Thank you.
Also, I'm happy you mentioned the voice-activation.......actually, my keyboard is MOO-activated. Humans aren't able the hear the subtle variations of our mooing, but we cows can moo each letter of your human alphabet, hence the reason I'm able to type posts and comments for the bloog.
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rhymeswithplague or egg,
Ok, so let me get this straight.....you are definitely Bob Bray-gg, not Bregg. Whew....that will be a relief to Jeannelle, I'm sure.....she was in a tizzy thinking she had been pronouncing your name wrong in her head all this time.
Jeannelle says that even people from Des Moines have a more southern-style accent than folks here in northern Iowa. And Jeannelle's daughter who now teaches in Des Moines gets teased about her "Minnie-sota" accent. I hear these things during milking time when the humans are chatting with each other. Yes, that's right, I eavesdrop; its not difficult, with the large ears that we cows are blessed with.
Ms. Cow: Is it true that all or most cows want to be California cows? I don't know if I can believe the darling adds on TV. Your opinion is valued.
Ms. Maybulline,
NO,no.....don't even suggest such a thing.....I personally would never wish to leave my happy home here in Iowa. Whoever is making those ads has not spoken to us normal, everyday cows here at the grass-roots level of dairydom. Living in California would be way too hectic and hair-raising and expensive (so I've heard). The warmer climate might be nice, but its not enough to tip the scales in favor of a MOOve there.
Thank you for visiting my bloog post. Do you own the make-up company? Do you think MOO-scara would improve the look of my eyes?
What a great post and yes, we know all about Holstein Friesian Canada....
Lots of good stuff happening our way.
Hope you found the perfect hair style.
Dying to see what it looks like.
You are so funny. I love Freckles and all her dots.
Just so you know: we played the game, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader last night. The question was: "What type of animal is a heifer?" Caution's husband answered, "A pig." He needs to read this blog.
Hilarious and interesting post!
Thanks Freckles the Cow.
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