Yesterday morning, after being milked, the “real cows” congregated at their office water cooler. They jostled, shoved and slurped while exchanging the latest farmyard gossip.
Rumors were a-flying and tongues a-wagging, that’s for sure……with one tongue even getting caught in a nostril. Now, there’s a dandy trick for you! 
The gossip was centered on the hot new couple in the neighborhood…..Fred and Bessie. It seems the affectionate couple has been spotted smooching up a storm here and there around the farm. I was aghast at the rumors being sloshed about there at the water fountain, but shortly thereafter I became an eyewitness to the sizzling and VERY edgy behavior of F & B. Goodness gracious…..I walked into the machinery shed, and…..well, see for yourselves: 
Talk about living on the edge…..I guess so! Fred and Bessie must have learned this risky, uninhibited behavior from their previous hosts. (Anyone care to ‘fess up?) 
Understandably, F & B are irresistibly attracted to each other and kissing is certainly permissible around here, but on a tractor? Or a chisel plow? 
Or the back of the grain truck box? 
And, even on the front bumper! 
Oh, good grief……on the tire of the manure spreader, too?! Yuck! Of all places! Why would Bessie put up with a guy luring her to such a filthy spot for a romantic rendevous??! Is she really THAT naive….and daft, to boot? Has she no self-respect? I will need to have a serious woman-to-woman talk with her. 
Later on, I caught Fred and Bessie taunting the “real” cows, daring them to find boyfriends, no less! Sheesh. But, please, NO…..I don’t want a herd of bulls showing up here at our farm. No way. My, my, what a disturbing turn of events……Fred and Bessie could have a terribly unsettling influence on our formerly contented and sensible herd of bovine females. 
What have I gotten myself and the “real” cows into by agreeing to have Fred and Bessie stay here on our farm? I’m open to suggestions and advice on how to handle this rather delicate and awkward situation. Please help!!
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10 comments:
It's the thrill of being discovered...puts a little spice into the relationship.
I think Fred and Bessie should occupy a prominent, permanent spot in the boudoir of the hard-working dairyman and his talented, industrious, fun-loving, blogger of a wife.
Bessie and Fred are beginning to be the talk of the town, and it's environs. Gossip is traveling like wildfire and has even reached Troy Mills. Our dogs were talking of it this morning and hoping that the cattle around here get no word of it. It's unseemly, all this romance! There are fields to work for goodness sakes, and it's embarassing to walk in on this! Tell em to "get a room!"
You would think they would learn about smooching "on the edge" after their fall from Lover's Leap. Twitterpattedness. It is a dangerous malady.
It's spring, see. Spring does strange things to cows in love. I really hope, though, that your talk to them straightens them out. Someone needs to straighten them out. They're getting a little too big for their britches.
I predict that the hoo-rah caused by Fred & Bessie will pass. If cows are anything like us :O( they'll be looking at the next new fad before too long.
This was such a fun post! You are a woman of many talents.
Happy weekend.
Cows look like fun creatures to photograph, and you look to be blessed with a lot of cows.
I think Bessie is glad Fred is still hers, all hers, with all those other females around to distract him! Maybe there's a little jealousy at the "water cooler."
Just got home from a day on the run. Looks like lots of fun comments here!
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Hi, Carolyn,
So perhaps F & B are showing off, deliberately trying to be caught in the kissing act....
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Hi, rhymsie,
Hmm...interesting comment. You definitely have the wrong impression if you think I'm industrious!
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Hi, Sherry,
Oh, how quickly gossip wings its way through rural Iowa....my, my!
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Hi, Leenie,
I haven't heard "twitterpated" in ages! Its from a Disney movie....is it "Bambi"?
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Hi, Flea,
As long as F & B have eyes (and muzzles) only for each other, then things will probably be OK in the long run. I will have that talk with Bessie, though.
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Hi, noni,
Ha....that's what I'm afraid of....what the next new fad might be for F & B!
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Hi, Snowbrush,
Absolutely, cows provide hilarious photo ops. They're very curious creatures and will come right over to the camera. Fun facial expressions, too.
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Hi, Daisy,
You could be right on target....the "real" cows are simply jealous. Maybe I need to have talks with THEM!
Looks like tounges are wagging and getting stuck to boot! Fred and Bessie need to settle down a bit or the cows are going to get in an up roar! Maybe Fred and Bessie need a pasture of their own???
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