The Stolen Bride

Yes, a True Confession coming right up.........I look really concerned about doing such a thing, don't I......probably because I have nothing exciting to confess, other than I'm the typical Lutheran garden-variety "poor, miserable sinner".

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First of all, a confession of stupidity........look at the photo and consider how idiotic I was back then in 1978: It was the middle of JULY.......there I was in a long-sleeved wedding dress, with a collar up to my 20-year-old double-chin and short neck. Whatever was I thinking?

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Actually, the scene in the photo is of when I threw my bouquet, out in front of the Baptist church; and a wimpish, paltry throw it was, landing just a few feet behind me. The girl who nabbed it, I believe, has never married!!

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Here's the who, what, when, where, and why of the theft of Jeannelle the Bride, a little over thirty years ago:

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A bit of background on "bride stealing", what I believe must be an old, old tradition, probably dating back to Cave Man days when Ogg would come to Ugg's cave with club and clobber Ugg over the head and drag his woman by her hair back to his own cave. He'd of had trouble getting a grasp on my fine, thin tresses, that's for sure!

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My Husband's people all came from northern Germany; perhaps bride-stealing was customary there, a tradition from the Dark Ages, when a nobleman would steal the poor peasant guy's bride and hold her for ransom; there was a ransom involved in my kidnapping, in fact. Or maybe a Viking gang from the next village would come to pillage and grab a bride for good measure.

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At any rate, I, the blushing bride of just a few hours, was innocently conversing with guests at our wedding dance, when suddenly I was picked up by the feet and the shoulders by several men and hauled outdoors and stuffed into the backseat of a waiting car. Not to worry.......the driver of the car was a good friend, and my sister was there on the passenger side. We drove to the next small town and went into a tavern. I, of course, was in my wedding dress, and had no shoes on; the bleary-eyed beer drinkers at the bar grinned and stared. We may have sat at a booth for awhile and had a drink, I don't really recall. It seems like maybe we shot some pool, too.

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Meanwhile, back at the dance hall in our absence, cash for a ransom was being collected in my shoe, being passed around the room. Much to my chagrin, my wedding dress had arrived way too short, so I had to wear completely flat ballerina slippers to the wedding. That conjures up a romantic image.......a silly, little, flat shoe being passed around.......an alluring high heel would have been better. But, it was only recently that I learned that cash during bride thefts was collected in a shoe; the cash had been given to us in a cigar box after the dance, so I had assumed that was used.

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My captors and I stayed at the tavern for maybe a half hour, then headed back to the town where the dance was going on. There weren't DJ's back then; we hired a very local band to provide music at our dance.......real, live music!! Another memory that stands out about the evening was when my nine-year-old, Baptist brother gaped at me with wide eyes, incredulous that I was holding a can of beer and actually sipping from it! Good grief; I was thirsty, for crying out loud! Alcohol was outwardly a no-no in the household I grew up in, you see. 'Nuff said. I've never been more than a very light drinker, but certainly am not into teetotaling, as my brother is to this day. Our wedding dance indeed was the clash of two cultures........the imbibing, dancing German Lutherans VS the teetotaling, anti-dancing, goody-two-shoes Baptists. They had to mix sooner or later!

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One more oddity........at the dance hall, I had kicked my shoes off onto the pile of other womens' shoes, and at the end of the dance, I could find only one of my shoes. Well, no matter.......I wasn't planning on wearing the dumb things again, anyway. About three weeks later, in the mail one day, I received a box with no return address on it, and inside, wrapped in newspapers, was my missing shoe! I have no idea who had it and then bothered to send it back. Maybe anonymous shoe-stealing is a wedding tradition I'm not aware of. Or was it about kicking a Goody-TWO-Shoes attitude?!

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Maybe, just maybe........a SOLE-mate had the shoe!!

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I'm wondering if bride-stealing still goes on anywhere? Or shoe-stealing? It didn't occur last weekend after my son's wedding. Is it a dying tradition? Too much of an invasion of the bride's privacy, perhaps. She has to be a good sport about the whole thing. Honestly, I didn't mind being stolen.......it was fun, and gave me a break from the crowd at the dance hall.

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Have a great day!!

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[If you were a STOLEN BRIDE, or if you ever STOLE A BRIDE........oh, do tell in a comment!]

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