Idiotic Pizza Incident

There is no photo today.....deal with it. It'll be tough, since there are only a gazillion photoblogs out there, but......BE STRONG.....you can do it. LOL!

I did, in fact, compose this story BEFORE reading countrygirl's Hall of Shame post of yesterday, so this is not an attempt to mimic her story's subject and style. Remembrances of humorous situations are always out there floating around.....on the east coast, in the midwest, in the south, west, north......anyplace where memories exist!!

To my friends in blogworld, I hope you are having a wonderful day, devoid of any stupid incidents.......but, if one does occur, I hope you write it into a story!

This post will relate an incident I've long wanted to write down in story form. It will perhaps prove that no attempt to do a good deed goes unpunished, so beware of becoming involved in such things. Usually, its my own fault when stupid things happen to me, although this time, I don't think it was, but who knows......you can decide. The story is all true; I'm not creative enough to have made it up.

It happened on an uncomfortably warm and humid summer evening several years ago. Here on our farm that day we had done something unusual; we had chopped down a hackberry tree which had faithfully shaded our house for many years. I have an inborn aversion to removing trees, but this time it had to be done, because a few days before that, we had noticed the large tree trunk rotating as if on an axis as the wind blew, indicating rotting going on inside the tree.

It had taken most of the day to accomplish the tree's downfall. Husband wielded the whirring, burring chainsaw and the kids and I carted away branches and chunks of wood. Husband rode up in a tractor loader bucket to cut the high branches off first, then he climbed onto the tree to cut bigger sections. That made me so nervous, I couldn't even watch.......ditto for Father-in-Law, who had made his usual stop at the farm to check out the day's activities.

By evening milking time, the tree was completely down, and our yard was full of sawdust, leaves and sticks, and piles of variously-sized wood chunks. I felt completely not in the mood to cook supper, albeit feeling somewhat guilty for feeling that way, but I asked Husband if he would care if I went and got pizza from town. He said fine, so I phoned in an order for one large stuffed crust pepperoni and one large pan chicken supreme, to a pizza place in a town about 15 miles away. We happen to live about that far from three different towns, so by eeny-meeny-miney-moe, I made the choice that evening.

The drive to the pizza place was thoroughly enjoyable-----maybe that's why I wanted to order supper out-----just to get away for a little while and drive with the windows down to feel an actual almost-cool breeze on this muggy, still evening, our van's air conditioner having long ago given up the ghost. Most likely I had the radio cranked up, too, singing along, totally unaware of the idiocy which awaited me.

Once at the pizza place, I turned off the van (my biggest mistake), ran in and got the pizzas, jumped back in the van, turned the key, and........it wouldn't start. It would turn over, but wouldn't catch, like non-fuel-injected vehicles used to do back in the old days, when they were flooded. I waited a few minutes and tried the key again, with no success.

I went back into the restaurant to explain my situation and ask if they could put the pizzas back in the oven to stay warm. Not a problem, they said. After a few more minutes, I turned the van key again, to no avail. My next move was the dreaded cell phone call home to tell Husband what was going on......he would not be happy to hear what was transpiring with me, because it would mean more work for him to do. Thankfully, my son answered the barn phone. I cringed as he hollered the sordid story of my situation to Husband down the barn aisle, the words mixing with milker pump humming, stanchion rattling, and cow mooing.

After a few seconds, my son informed me that someone would come to my aid eventually, when chores were done.

Thus, I settled in to wait, ruing the fact that I had no book or magazine to read. I was parked right by the side windows of the pizza place, and near to the door. Before long, a female employee emerged from that door with a pizza box and a soft drink cup in her hand. Her car was parked right next to my van, and I noticed she set the pizza and pop on the roof of her car while she unlocked her car door. Then I looked away for a few seconds, and happened to glance at her car in my rear view mirror as she pulled away behind me........the pizza box and pop cup were still on top of her car! I jumped out of the van, yelling and pointing at the roof of her car, trying to get her attention before she pulled into the street. She looked back at me right after she entered the street, and just as the pop cup tipped over, spilling liquid and ice down her back window, the pizza box sliding also down the window and trunk and onto the street. Well, I thought, that was that......that poor kid just lost her supper!

I climbed back into my forlorn van, and a few seconds later was very surprised to see the employee's car come barreling back into the pizza place parking lot. She pulled in next to my van, glared at me, slammed her car door, and went into the pizza place. Through the window, I could see her talking and motioning.....in my direction, it seemed. Then I could see her making a phone call. Then customers sitting at tables in the restaurant started looking out the window-----at me, it seemed-----but why would they be doing that??.

Lo, and behold, a few minutes later I heard a police siren and then a squad car with flashing lights pulled in and parked next to me and my van. The officer came over to my window and said, "What's going on here?" I replied, "I have no idea. You tell me."

Then he did proceed to tell me that someone had reported that I had THROWN a cup of pop at a car!!

I just shook my head, and told him what had happened, wondering how on earth that girl could think I had thrown a pop cup at her car, when she herself had set the pizza and pop on top of her own car!!! The policeman said, "Hmm.....it sounds like there might be a misunderstanding here."

The policeman went into the pizza place and brought out the girl employee and the manager, and related to them what I had said. Incredibly, that girl acted like she had no recollection of the pizza and pop she had set on the roof of her car! I honestly wondered if she had very-early-onset Alzheimer's Disease or something. (OR, she had taken the pizza and pop without permission.....but, if that were the case, WHY did she draw attention to herself by accusing someone of throwing the pop cup at her......it made no sense!)

As we were talking there by her car, I glanced at its roof and saw there was still a moisture ring there from the pop cup!!! I pointed that out, and then the girl said, "Well, maybe that is what happened." My goodness, Girl", I thought, "what in the world is wrong with you"??!! (Or maybe because my van is old, dented, and rusty, she stereotyped me as the type of person who would randomly throw a cup of pop at a stranger's car!)

Anyway......long story, short.......the "misunderstanding" got straightened out, and I sat for another hour before my son finally showed up to take me home. I never did go back in to get the pizzas......I was too upset.

The next day, the pizza place's manager phoned me and said he had fired the employee. As if I would be happy to hear that.....but, I wasn't.....I still wondered if the girl had a brain disorder of some sort. He also said there were more reasons for her firing than just the incident involving me. As for the disabled van......Husband had to hoist it onto a car trailer and take it to the repair shop......it needed a new starter. Husband is always thrilled to have the chance to enjoy activities such as that.

To that particular pizza place, I've never had the gumption to return. This story has prompted a few laughs occasionally in a conversation here and there, although, I must be careful lest the facts of the story get twisted and I acquire the reputation of being a pizza and pop thrower!!

Anyway.....what does the moral of this story boil down to?......FIX SUPPER AT HOME!!! Even though Proverbs 31:14 says that a good woman brings food from afar.....DON'T DO IT!!