Bessie at the Conference

Bessie returned safe and sound---although quite exhausted---from the women’s conference. She forgot herself at first and asked me to be her bellhop, but I refused. She can carry her own suitcase, for goodness sake!

Bessie searched through the suitcase and finally found these photos from the conference. They were stuffed underneath some other mementos…..her namecard and placemat from the closing banquet. I never understand why folks save stuff like that, except as free souvenirs.

Shown in this next photo are the speakers from the first session, “Empowering Your Better Self”, all about being better, thinking better, choosing better, eating better, etc., etc. Somehow the panel discussion veered off onto the subject of finding better men to get involved with. Jasmine advised the audience to NEVER take up with a lad in the mood to take a girl riding on a flying carpet; she said it can be an absolutely hair-raising experience……much too stressful! Dredging up those memories was so upsetting that Jasmine had to excuse herself from the panel.

The auburn-haired Maid Marian offered to speak next. In no uncertain terms she urged all women present to never date a guy who wears tights and is named after a bird. Marian was in dire need of coverings for her bare legs, but Robin would not even consider offering his green tights to her. Robin and Marian got into a terrible tiff and Robin FLEW AWAY, tights and all, never to be seen in the hood again!

Pink-attired Prudence of the Prom was all smiles, though she had let her hair down and allowed her date the liberty of removing her hairpins and tousling her tresses, something she admitted to regretting the next morning. She advised women to “Stand by your hairdo!”

Olympic Barbie’s speech was all about staying in better shape and finding a fellow who is fit and trim. Her motto is: “Don’t settle for less!” What she actually meant was: “Don’t settle for too much!” And, she does have experience to back up those words……she formerly dated an Olympic weightlifter who specialized in the “snatch” and the “clean and jerk”. She admitted he was neat and clean, but he became a jerk in her eyes after he utilized the “snatch” move one too many times. She couldn’t take it any longer, so she cartwheeled to freedom one day when he wasn’t looking.

Poor Princess Pocahontas, of course, fell for an older, foreign chap. She even ended up risking her life to save his, but afterwards doubted whether her efforts were appreciated by him at all. Bessie said there was not a dry eye left in the auditorium by the time Pocahontas finished telling her moving tale.

Mermaid Lady brought this session to a close. Bessie was quite taken with her, wondering how on earth a mermaid gets things accomplished in this out-of-water world of ours. I urged Bessie not to ponder too long over that. Evidently, Mermaid Lady does rue the day when she dared to emerge from the sea. She advised women that its better to stay within their natural habitat.

After that first long session, Bessie said they took a dinner break, grazing over the conference center’s delicious salad smorgasbord. Her favorite dish was the wilted lettuce with alfalfa sprouts and corn nuts. After eating, there was still an hour of time to kill, so Bessie and the other women took a peek inside the attached gambling casino. Thank goodness for the fact that Bessie had no extra cash with her and that she has holes on her back instead of a slot.

After the break, there was an extra special guest speaker……a lovely young woman named Belle. So said Bessie, anyway. Belle had a most interesting story to tell, the moral of which is: Don’t judge a man by his looks. Belle somehow got involved with a beastly-looking guy who turned out to be a very nice person. He simply had an off-putting appearance. Belle said, “Give those beastly guys a chance!” Bessie wasn’t sure what to make of that advice, but she listened, anyway.

These next two ladies are the famous story-singing duo, “Ariel and Esmeralda”. Their lovely voices blended perfectly, Bessie said. They sang about their experiences with certain men in their lives……Ariel had escaped from a tyrannical father and Esmeralda had fallen in love with a hunchback. Bessie was spellbound by the atypical love story of Esmeralda and Quasimodo. It has opened up a whole new world of thought for her……in fact, the entire conference seems to have had that effect on Bessie. I am so happy about that. I expect Fred and Bessie’s relationship will benefit immensely.

Lastly, Bessie said she listened for a few minutes to this young single mother discuss the challenges of trying to raise a child all alone. Its doubtful that Bessie would ever find herself in a similar situation, given the strong magnetic relationship she has with Fred. He would be unable to leave her.

Whew……I’ll tell you what……I was about done in after listening to Bessie relay all this information about the conference. She was exhausted, too, and fell right to sleep next to Fred. Not a smooch to be seen. Thank goodness. Maybe Bessie has learned to set a high standard for herself rather than simply caving in all the time to being Fred’s smooching partner. Let’s hope so.

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Have a wonderful day! Aspire to all things BETTER!

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