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If you think it will bother you to know what's buried within my religious psyche, then you'd better not read this post. It comes from long ago and very deep within, and I'm going to be completely honest with you.........after I show you this wild grapevine.........
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A couple miles from where I live is a bridge over Crane Creek, surrounded by a low-lying wooded area. Yesterday, I detoured through there after picking up an empty pan at church, from an egg casserole I took to a congregational brunch on Sunday.
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This dead tree trunk looked interesting, accessorized as it was with vines and reddened leaves:
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I had only my Canon PowerShot with me, so am hoping to go back today with the Nikon D40 to perhaps get a better picture. Perhaps.......perhaps not.
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Squinting closer at the top of the trunk, my eyes finally focused and these wild grapevines came into view!
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My hours of solitary driving over the weekend gave me plenty of time to think, and often the thoughts turned in the direction of the upcoming presidential election. Callie of Chezbichet blog has a post concerning prayer and the upcoming election. Though its not my desire to endorse any certain candidate in my blog writing, I do agree that prayer for the election is needful!
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Not that its here nor there, or that anyone should care, but I'm going to explain where life has put me in the spectrum of Christianity. Through no fault of my own I was born to parents who attended an American Baptist Church, of the Northern Baptist Convention. In case you aren't familiar with them, they are more on the liberal side than the Southern Baptists, Regular Baptists, and certainly, than the various very strict Baptist sects that exist. I think Bill Moyers is an American Baptist.......GASP........that awful, liberal journalist, Bill Moyers.
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There was a rather heavy dose of religious fanaticism buried within our household, though. I'm mostly at a loss to know where exactly it originated. My mom grew up Evangelical United Brethren (E.U.B., which later merged with the Methodists, to become the United Methodists). Her mother, in particular, was not vocal about her beliefs........Grandma went to a Methodist church, but was quiet about her faith, otherwise. My dad had grown up in the Baptist church we attended; his mother seemed fairly quiet about religious matters, too, although she for years taught the older peoples' Sunday School class.
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The dynamics of the household I grew up in were complicated; there was hidden alcoholism going on, thus plenty of pretense and hypocrisy permeating the family atmosphere. I, as a child, had no comprehension that this might be abnormal.......it was simply normal for our household. Kids soak up whatever is dished out to them; they aren't able to discriminate.
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For whatever reason, from time to time, my parents would go to services at other churches, mostly on Sunday evenings. Thus, I've experienced the Assembly of God/Pentecostal/Charismatic-type service. I've observed an overly dramatic pastor claiming to be doing healings before a crowd of people whose arms are raised, with unintelligible gibberish pouring from their mouths. I simply observed......I was a kid stuck with being required to accompany my parents.
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Another church experience we had was attending summer tent meetings of the local Gospel Hall. These people were and are very upstanding, kind people, and definitely not charismatic, but were and are very conservative; back then they didn't have TV's and the women kept their hair long and up in buns, and wore hats to church services. We, of course, didn't wear hats, and sat there feeling idiotic and conspicuous with our uncovered heads. This group also didn't believe in organs or pianos in church, so congregational singing was a cappella. They didn't have pastors, either.......men of the congregation would preach, though at the tent gatherings the speaker was an evangelist guy from somewhere else, usually Canada. The one I particularly recall was from Toronto and had a German name and quite an interesting brogue when he preached.
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In the summer, the Gospel Hall special speakers would travel around the community in pairs, calling on people to discuss the Christian faith. My sisters and I called them "the tent guys". One summer afternoon when I was maybe thirteen or so, I was home alone mowing lawn and the tent guys drove in. I was embarrassed that they were seeing me in shorts, but I shut off the mower and talked to them for a few minutes. They came right out and asked me if I thought my parents were saved! I answered that I was quite sure one was but wasn't sure about the other one! I didn't go into any other details. Can you even imagine people going around asking kids that? Is that a good idea? A few years later, shortly after I had gotten married, I was mowing lawn at the acreage where Husband and I lived........dressed in normal hot-weather lawn-mowing attire, short shorts and a skimpy tank top. It was way out in the country and I was not expecting company, so who cared, anyhow..... right? Well, wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden two of the tent guys drove in. They had seen me out in the yard pushing the mower; otherwise I would have just hid until they left. I tried to position myself behind a weedy fenceline as I spoke with them so they wouldn't see my short-shorts-clad legs. They knew me as this supposedly good Christian girl and here they were witness to the fact that I was dressed very immodestly! They gave me some tracts and invited me to the upcoming tent meetings. I was uncomfortably embarrassed........and, very happy when they left!
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In my junior high and early high school years, I attended a Gospel Hall Bible study with my parents.........mostly because I had a minor crush on one of the boys from that group. (Oh, thank the good Lord he never took an interest in me!) The Bible study was about the book of Revelation and all sorts of End-Times speculations. Yes, my parents were really into that stuff. Well.....let's see......at that time it was thought that perhaps Henry Kissinger might be the Antichrist, because he was a politically influential Jew. Hmm.......bar codes and Master Card might be part of the End Time scenario.......precursors to "the mark of the Beast", when people would be required to have "666" tatooed on our foreheads in order to buy and sell. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse might symbolize races of people......white, black, yellow, red. Babylon, the Great Whore.......well, that might be the Catholic Church or the United States. The ten-headed beast might be the Common Market, a revived Roman Empire with ten member countries. The Antichrist would amazingly recover from some sort of seemingly mortal wound, the healing coming via his sidekick, the False Prophet, AND everyone around the world would see this happen (live TV or internet?). Preceding it all would be the renewal of some abominable sacrifice in Jerusalem......something to do with a red heifer.
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And, then there was the Millenium.......the 1000-year reign of Christ and His people.........those Christians who persevere and prevail, I guess. (For sure, it would be the Christians who don't fall prey to becoming opinionated bloggers.) After that, the devil will be released from his shackles below and wreak havoc amongst the nations again. Armageddon will occur after that, perhaps, or maybe it is before......I can't recall for sure. Gog and Magog will rise up against Israel. The image from the dream in the biblical book of Daniel comes into play somewhere along the way, too. Quite a collection of scenarios can be fit together from biblical prophecy.
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Here are some penciled notes in my old Bible next to Revelation Chapter 6: "We are all gone (Raptured). Tribulation = 7 years. Great Tribulation = 3 1/2 years. " I have an arrow pointing to "white horse" in verse 2 from the penciled words: "The Beast/False Prophet." "Horse = power and speed. White = clean. Antichrist = religious power. Beast = political power. No arrow = conquers with peace. " (We are to be suspicious of anyone promoting peace!)
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Anyhow, the great and wonderful thing was, of course, that all of us Christians would have been "Raptured" by the time the terrible Tribulation stuff started to happen. And, the Rapture was expected to happen any day. Remember, I'm like 14 to 16-years-old during this time. I figured I'd never live to experience sex......yes, that's right.......sex.......let me say it again.......SEX.......marriage and children, too. Forget about considering college, how pointless that would be when the world is about to end! Plus, my parents told us that college was where people went to become atheists.......or, worse yet......HIPPIES!
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If you didn't grow up with this mindset permeating your household, I'm ecstatically happy for you. I've read that the Palin family possibly espouses these beliefs. If so, I might have some understanding of the deeper reason why Bristol decided to have premarital sex despite her Christian upbringing. It was a temptation for me, too, back then, just so I could experience it before the Rapture......though I was too fearful to do such a thing. I don't know what my dad would have done if any of his daughters had ended up pregnant out-of-wedlock. I shudder to contemplate such a scenario. To my dad, a girl who had premarital sex was "ruined". (That "ruined" description didn't apply to the boy, of course.)
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I also had fears that the Rapture would occur and I would, for some reason (probably because I wanted to have sex), be left behind to experience the Tribulation. If that happened, if I clung to Christian beliefs, I would end up being martyred, of course, perhaps being one of the 144,ooo from the Tribulation period. I used to panic when I suddenly couldn't find any of my family out on our farm.......I thought they had been Raptured! I would quickly look across the road to the neighbor's place to see if I could spot any of their family out in the yard.......they were Gospel Hall people and they for sure would be Raptured. If I could see any of them then I breathed easier, knowing the Rapture had not taken place, and I had not been Left Behind! We did see a movie at our Baptist church about such a thing once; it ended up with the Christians all lined up in white robes waiting to be executed! I went home terrified. I mentioned this to my mom just the other day........she said, "Oh, honey, I don't remember that." Well......she was probably at home with my younger siblings that Sunday evening. I do recall that my dad was in attendance when the film was shown.
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After I married Husband-----one month after my 20th birthday-----I joined his Missouri Synod Lutheran church. One of the first things I noticed was that this church NEVER, ever spoke of the End-Times, the Rapture, the Tribulation, etc. At first I wondered what on earth was the matter with them.......why were they ignoring these crucial issues? As time went on, I realized that faith is about living in the now, living out your faith day by day.......NOT obsessing over obscure scriptures and futuristic speculations. I could see what a huge effect those End-Times beliefs had had on my life. When I started having kids, I vowed to myself to NEVER speak to them of the End-Times or of biblical prophecy. They grew up going to Lutheran parochial grade school, giving them a firm Christian foundation without fanatical leanings.
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By the way, it has taken serious depression, and a nervous breakdown with time spent in a psychiatric unit to get this questionable religious baggage completely out of my system. I don't wish that on anyone, so be careful how you teach your kids, folks!!! I think in order to expell an entrenched glob of beliefs and associated parental bonds, your ego has to dissolve for a time........I'm fortunate that during my ego-meltdown I didn't do anything more bizarre than what I did. It did land me in the psych unit, but at least I didn't hurt anyone else or commit suicide. The Gospel Hall guy I had a crush on.......remember him.......well, he had a nervous breakdown, too, several years ago, and spent time in a psychiatric unit. Hmm.......I wonder why. Reality finally comes crashing in, people! Jesus hasn't returned in the eastern sky during these past 30 to 40 years.......perhaps He won't return during your lifetime! Perhaps, we were misled just a little bit. You can't be preoccupied with the Second Coming of Christ and live a normal, sane life, in my opinion. Any of you are free to agree or disagree with me or go away and never return to this blog if you wish........whatever works for you.
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There is a somewhat related issue which I'd also like to mention........homeschooling. I don't begrudge anyone the freedom to choose to homeschool, and I know that in some cases it is done because people live too far from towns. My brother and his wife homeschool because they believe the public schools would corrupt their children. In the past, I have suggested to him that he and his family could be a wonderful Christian influence in the local school (which, by the way, is a fine, small-town school), but he is deaf to talk like that.
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Husband has a relative who is similarly raising his children, only in an even stricter environment. The wife and daughters wear long skirts ALL the time. They homeschool, of course. They watch no TV except for old Western movies. Gunfights don't seem to bother the dad, but whenever a part comes in the movie where there might be a dance scene, the dad stops the tape and fast- forwards it so the kids won't see any dancing. Like I said......the gunfights are permissible to view, however. In the past, this relative would write letters to his grandpa, Husband's dad, a life-long LCMS Lutheran, telling him that he needed to accept Christ and be saved. My father-in-law would shake his head in perplexity and voice concern for his grandson. My father-in-law was baptized as a baby, confirmed as a teenager, and attended his Lutheran church faithfully ALL of his life........but, according to his fanatical Baptist daughter-in-law and grandson, was not saved. Before I married Husband, her mother worriedly warned me that Lutherans are not saved and I should think twice about joining that church!
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Let me repeat it........I don't believe its possible to be preoccupied with thoughts of the Second Coming and live a normal, contented, peaceful.......SANE......life. That conviction of mine is never going to change. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TEACH TO YOUR KIDS! They soak it right up. Teach them to inquire and test the validity of anything. Do YOUR homework, too, concerning the upcoming election. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU VOTE FOR, but be sure you make up your own mind. Get views from all angles! Don't confine yourself in a narrow, one-sided mindset! And, do keep the election in your prayers! I'm going to keep trying to do my homework on the candidates. IF I learn that a candidate is caught up in End-Times beliefs, I will not be voting for them.
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Thus ends my rant for today! I need to cool my mind now by going out and taking some photos! Truly, I welcome your views, even if they are in disagreement with mine.
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Tomorrow.......back to Pella!
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